Terrified…

Have you ever been terrified? Like actually frightened to the point of panic? I was recently.  I am not the type of person to panic. I am usually the rock in my marriage and family. It takes something bit to shake me up, and even then I’m more worried and scared but not terrified.

Tau had her first “low” the other day. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal but to me it was terrifying. Here’s why…

I remember two summers ago having the police knock on my door because Alpha had collapsed in the road while going for a walk. They drove me down the street to the ambulance and I watched him have a seizure because his BG was 22. Even then, I wasn’t terrified because he was safely strapped to a bed and getting emergency treatment from the paramedics. He was in good hands. I was plenty upset watching the love of my life suffering, but not panicked by any means.

Lately, Zeta has been having some rough nights. Up every hour or two kinda thing. That morning we also had to get up early for church so no sleeping in. Despite a lovely “froo-froo” coffee* I was still dragging ass when we got home. Nap time! Everyone get in bed! Fast forward about 90 minutes. Tau wakes up, so I call Alpha to bring her upstairs so Zeta and I can sleep longer. Fat chance mama! Zeta is awake 5 minutes later so I reluctantly head up too and start making an epic sandwich. Tau came over to investigate my activities and says, “Mama I really hungry!” As I looked at her I noticed something wasn’t right. She looked jittery and unfocused. I hold her hand and she’s shaking. And that’s when it hits me, she’s crashing! I scrambled to get a reading and sure enough, her BG was 45! My mind yanks me back to that summer with Alpha and I panic. The thought of my precious baby unconscious and seizing in my arms is genuinely terrifying. These are the things that give me nightmares folks.**

After a nice cup of grape juice and half an epic sandwich AND a chocolate covered peanut cluster (because I felt bad for her) she was fine. I can’t remember the last time I was that panicked. My baby was minutes away from things I don’t even want to think about. That is an experience I don’t wish on anyone. I know there are kids in the world dealing with a lot worse situations but in my world, in that moment, I was shaken to my core.

Hug your babies. Kiss them goodnight. Thank God that he gave them to you and pray that He will watch over them with you.

*In my book froo-froo coffees is coffee that involves any combination of flavors, whipped cream, or caramel/chocolate drizzle and costs more than $2 for a small.

**Tsunamis also give me nightmares.

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About Cheryl

Twenty something SAHM to two beautiful babies!
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