By today’s standards I freely admit that I am probably considered a bad, lazy mom. Not in every department but several of them at least. Here’s why:
My kids don’t do activities. None. Not even one that’s free. No ballet class. No toddler time. No story hour at the library. There are three main reasons: I don’t want to have to bring them. I don’t want to waste money on activities. I believe that children should be kept close to home until they’re are ~8. They will not remember dance classes at 3yo and I’m not paying hundreds of dollars for you to not dance while I try to entertain 1 (soon to be 2) other kid at 9 am any day of the week. Screw that.
We don’t have big birthday parties. A typical bday party for my kids is immediate family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, and godparents). Bc we have a big family that’s still 25-30ppl if everyone can make it! Invite cousins and friends? Not happening. And no I don’t send home party favors bc it’s not your special day. Get over it. Plus every parent I know just wants to throw away that stupid bag of cheap ass toys anyway.
No, my daughter is not allowed to wear makeup or nail polish or earrings or anything sleeveless (without an undershirt). Some things are worth looking forward to. Earrings and spaghetti straps at one year old leads to makeup and nail polish at 5 then boyfriends at 10 to 16 and pregnant on mtv. Exaggeration? Maybe. Not gonna chance it.
Play dates? Yes we have them maybe 2x a month. And it’s more of a mommy date. MY friends come over and we complain about husbands, teething, sleep regressions and admit we might be pregnant again. The kids trash the living room and ask for snacks. Everyone leaves by 2 for naps and getting older kids home from school. It’s really rejuvenating for me to talk to another adult and everyone keeps urging me to take “me time” anyway.
I don’t have endless patience with my kids. That is not the real world and our job as parents is to prepare them for the real world gradually. My kids hear “no” more than they hear “yes”. And none of the “let’s find something else for your hands to do” bullshit. “Don’t touch that.” Ta-da! No misinterpretation there. I consider “knock it off. You’re pissing me off” to be a legitimate reason. As well as “stop whining. Nobody likes a whiney baby.” As a result, my kids rarely whine and do as they’re told most of the time. And they’re really happy kids! They’re not huddled in a corner traumatized bc they didn’t get their way or were told “bc I said so.”
Tv content is strict in our house. Admittedly, I have allowed too much quantity lately bc this pregnancy has made it difficult for me to function. However, content is not negotiable. They happily watch the same 3-4 shows repeatedly. She knows not to ask for anything Frozen. Spongebob-ayfkm?! Not happening. Here’s some Little Einsteins while mama sleeps next to the toilet.
And no, you don’t get a toy/treat just because we walked into a store. Stop whining about it. Nobody likes a whiney baby.
What makes you a “bad” mom?